as i was sitting in the midst of crowd, i thought about what he said. when he said those words, i didn’t want to really think about them. but they did come back to me eventually. to be honest, i just wanted to talk to someone. someone who can understand what i’m actually saying. not just nod and ask a few questions here and there, but can genuinely look me into my eyes and understand.
i was nervous to meet up. because i didn’t have the answers. i didn’t know why i was where i was. i didn’t know why i left. all i knew was that i had to. but i wasn’t sure if this was where i was supposed to be. i see the needs all around me. yet i can’t open up. i can’t fully use the gifts that He has given me.
is what he said really what i am missing? the intimate community? i didn’t want to be too dependent on it. because i also learned the danger of it replacing God sometimes. but as i feel like i’m thrown into the lonely desert full of people, i had to ask myself if this is what God really wants.
