As I sat down in the midst of a crowd with no familiar faces, I started listening what the pastor had to say. He spoke on 2 Corinthians 5:11 - 21. I really liked how he actually explained to us the background of Paul writing this letter and going through the passage verse by verse.
Paul talks about how we are reconciled to God so that we will live for Him. And we are reconciled to God through Christ so that we might become the righteousness of God. So many thoughts were going through my head as I was listening, but there were two main thoughts. Whenever there is a conflict which asks for reconciliation, it is hard not to think about what Christ has done for us. There are conflicts when both parties have done wrong but there are also conflicts where one is a victim and the other is the one that has done wrong. But either way, the process of reconciliation is painful for both sides. It is painful for the one who has done wrong partly because of the guilt but mostly because it requires humility to reconcile. Feeling guilty is one thing but admitting that guilt and coming before the one that’s been hurt is another.
But naturally, the one who can be considered as a victim often suffers more, especially when he or she is the one that initiates the reconciliation. Logically, it just doesn’t make sense. If you are the one who is victimized, there is no reason for you to initiate reconciliation. After all, it’s the other party that caused this trouble, not you. And this is where grace is needed the most, just like God showed His grace when He sacrificed His son. Initiating can be scary because you feel vulnerable as there is a chance of rejection. That’s why guys are often so scared to ask girls out (just kidding, but not really). That’s why asking for help can be hard for some people. That’s why starting a conversation with someone you don’t like can feel burdensome. We are terrified that our pride will be trampled after we face the rejection.
But what God has done is something that He can’t turn back. He will not go back and undo the punishment that Christ went through. So when we reject God, what He risks isn’t His pride being trampled, but His Son’s death on cross becoming meaningless for us because there will be no reconciliation with God and we will not be His righteousness. I wonder how many of us went through this type of reconciliation where the risk was so great: your one and only child. So I realized every time I face a situation where reconciliation is necessary, I am humbled by what God has done for us. It doesn’t completely get rid of the pain or fear of initiating, but as I am reminded by how hard it is, I am once again convicted of His love that compels Paul and other disciples to love others who are not easy to love.
The second thought was the one that was challenging for me. Am I living for God? The whole purpose of me being reconciled to God is so that I should no longer live for myself but for Christ who died for me (verse 15). And my honest answer was no. I am not living for God. I don’t see it. And honestly, I don’t really know what I can do to live for God in my current situation. So I prayed that God will show me what it would look like to live for Him. And thankfully, I can already sense that God will show me. Yet to be really honest, the selfish side of me was horrified when I read this verse today. Accepting God’s love is easy but giving my life isn’t. Yet the pastor said we can do all this not on our own strength but based upon God’s eternal love. I hope to be fueled by His love daily so there will be more conviction in the purpose of God creating me.
Yay. If you read this far, good job. pat pat. If not, it’s okay. I don’t know if I would read this much either. Either way, I am so thankful for His gentle rebuke and His firm love today.
